Forgive yourself to be able to forgive others?

I may have done things that I regret deeply. I may have said some things that I should not have said, and gone to places I wasnt supposed to go. And all the scars that I have, I let them happen. Some of the scars are long gone, and some of them are still healing. How strong are we? How strong do we think we are?

I sure thought I was stronger than this, or maybe I am, maybe I'm growing slowly to become the person I always wanted to be. Taking each step at the time and making things right, for me.

Being true to myself and not putting things that hurt me or upset me in my backpack. Speaking of them almost instantly. Forgiving myself for the stupid things I let myself become upset over. Upsetting over people who are not even worth it. Not anymore.

Some people are just not meant to be in our lives, some of them are just passing through. We laugh, cry and fight with eachother, then its gone, like a train passing by.

Most of the times I wonder what ever happened to the respect we have for eachother? The humanity to treat eachother good, even if we dont know one another. Whatever happened to our understandning and compassion?

Well however, i've made peace with myself, confronting myself that stop being so kind to everyone, sometime its not bad to be bad. Not letting anyone step on you. Showing that you can stand up for yourself and for the one's you love. Because you know what, even if this sounds harsh, there will be no one who thinks of you when you will need it. So dont forget yourself to please others. Be good, do good, speak good and the rest will understand. Unfortunatly age doesnt matter, I always thought that with age you become wiser, but I've learned that there are so many that are older than me, and just thinking of themselves. Not caring if you have something else to do, or something else to say.

So I ask...

Why should we always act like the bigger person?
Why should you have the respect for someone older than you when they don't?
Why should I feel bad for doing something good just because the other person does'nt understand the action?
why.....


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;


O&O

Author unknown

Everything Happens For a Reason

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be; your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential, strength, will power of heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of the soul.

Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and successes and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experience can be learned from... Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart... forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

Let’s call it god’s game, let’s call it faith....

We whine, we cry, and feel sorry for ourselves when thing’s doesn’t work out the ways that we thought they would. We simply find ways to blame the wrongs on some thing’s or somebody else, when in fact the only one to blame is often you, you as in yourself.


Why do we wait when we can do it now?
Why do we postpone things?
Why do we blame others?
Why are we in a hurry?

Could it be because of fear?
Fear of failing if we do?

On the other hand other things have a funny way of working out without our help. Suddenly a dark space lights up from nowhere. Suddenly there is a road that had a block before, stands open completely. We decide not to do something about something and all of a sudden the thing we didn’t do fails in a really bad way.


We call it faith.
We say it was meant to be.
We tell ourselves it wasn’t meant to happen.


I say you can control your own faith. Don’t sit around and wait for anything to happen, make it happen! Don’t be afraid to take that step you have been thinking of for a long time. Let’s call it faith, let’s call it gods game. But whatever you do take the risk or you’ll never know. Even if the risk you took backfired, start over. It’s okay because you dared to take that step.


What is the worst thing that could happen?


And if the worst thing happened, it’s just a setback, you’ll manage. You’ll get stronger. Change your view around things that are necessary to do. The important things that you feel are too difficult to change, change you point of view. Try to smile more, try to love more. From the loved ones to the smallest things like for example something you like to eat or drink. Love more!
Show more love to the ones you love. Treat people with love in different stages. Become people’s mirror. Let them see how they really can be. Don’t forget yourself, never. Love yourself first then others. We now this very well, but we must start acting after it. If you want to love others, you have to learn loving yourself first. If someone hurts you or makes a mistake, whatever it is, try to be reasonable. You just might be the help for the problem but not knowing about it.


I’ve learned something throughout the years and the problems I’ve encountered. And that is me. I’ve got to know myself. How I could handle situations, different kind of situations. How my reasoning around things were. I learned to love in an entirely different way. Think and see stuff, people and situations with new eyes, new mind, reasonable.


Get a hold of yourself; get a hold of the situation.
Today I am on my way towards my goals, some more difficult than others but I’m handling them one by one. Smiling along the way and trying to manage the days with positive thoughts and views.


O&O

A cry for help

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't..There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love, realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.



Live it, love it, appreciate it. Life!

Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.

This is what I was built for, what I was made for. What I'm gonna live for

Life, give me what you've got!

What if....

So it's been a while since I wrote anything and I thought that it was that time now to do it.

I dream about a house with a yard. I dream about kids running around in that yard. Playing with our dog, they are laughing. My husband comes out and sits down next to me on the terrace, looks at me with a smile and puts his hand around me kissing me on my head. We sit there for a while and just gaze at our children.

What if that time where now, what if all your dreams that you have would happen as we speak. What would you do if life would come knocking at your door right now.

However, sometimes I sigh because I'm so tired of everything, why bad stuff happen. Why I feel bad sometime. I feel again like I have my backpack filled with bricks, now heavier then ever. So much to do, so much to fix, so little time. I always stick with the being good all the time, keeping a positive mind. But you know what, It's okay, I can sigh, and I can be tired sometime but I know that in the end my dream is waiting for me. My dream is waiting for to come true.

So in the end how bad things turn out, if you stick it out and fight for the thing you will know that in the end you did your best.

O&O

When words no longer help

What more can I say when you dont even hear me
What more can I do when you dont wanna see

Where should I turn
Where can I breathe
Can you see me burn

Am I here
Am I alive
Am I standing on the ground


In my heart
In the very deep
Wake me up
Maybe I'm asleep

My head is spinning
My heart is hurting
Am I bleeding
Or is this just the beginning

When will it end
when will it stop
I only want
My heart to mend

Leave me alone
leave me be
my mind is playing tricks on me

Forgive and forget
nr one rule for me
treat as you want to be treated
this works, you'll see

When the end of the days are near
when everything will be so clear
all will dissapear
even the things we all fear

Over & Out

Falling with broken wings

By the gates I had a choice, either to turn back or pass the gates and walk through the garden. I knew this way very well, I´ve been here before. I can still remember the pain, the hard work patching up. But I wasn't afraid, on the contrary I was very prepared for I've been here and the next time maybe it wouldnt hurt as much. How very wrong I was.

I made my choice and walked through into the garden, a very dark garden. Black sky, black flowers and dark surroundings. I had my wings to take me away if Something would go wrong I continued walking. Further ahead there was a well, I slowly aproached it and look down. I could hear the sound of the water giving me a calm feeling inside. As I was standing and listening to the water something came flying towards me. I closed my wings around me protecting me from whatever it was. The thing was as small as my hand, flying and slowly sat down in front of me on the well. It looked like a little fairy, just gazing at me with tiny tiny eyes. He put his head on crooked and smiled.

I opened my wings and sat down on my knees so I could end up in same eye level with him. I looked in his eyes. How could this tiny creature make me smile inside just by smiling at me?

He reached out his hand and touched the tip of my nose and then flew up laughing and spinning around in the air. His tiny hand were so cold. As he flew I followed. Without even looking around or down to see if dangers lurked around och something dangerous to step on.

I was enchanted by this tiny fairy.

As I was running I tripped and fell down. I felt a massive pain on the right side of my back and to my horror my wing was broken. The fairy stopped laughing and flew down silently next to me. I saw the tears in his eyes, I wondered why, why are you crying, we just met..

He wiped away his tears and showed me with his hand to follow, and I did. I stood up, although the pain I had I followed. Something inside was telling me that I had to.

We went deeper and deeper into the garden and things got darker and colder. He turned around and laughed at me and kept flying. And then, we stopped. As I was catching my breath I gazed upon a path leading to a big mirror with a black border. He signaled with his hands that I should go and take a look, and like the last time I did..

I slowly approached the big mirror feeling no more pain in my wing, but very cold instead. The fairy flew around me looking at me, smiling then right after making a sad face. As I stood infront of this mirror seeing nothing at first began to feel a very heavy feeling in my heart, like someone had died, like somthing bad was about to happen. I took a deep breath and put my right hand on the mirror. A woman appeared in the mirrir, light skin, bid white wings, but one was.... broken, it was me. My own reflection in the big black mirror. And then something happened, the reflection of me began to turn dark, the blood ran down my right wing, and the feathers turned black. My body felt cold.

What was happening?

I took my hand from the mirror and took a step back. I looked at the fairy with tears in my eyes, suddenly feeling very sad and weak, what is happening. what is happening to me?

And for the first time he flew towards me, sat down on my broken wing and whispered in my ear..

My love, I didnt mean for this, I wanted you to laugh and follow me just to see if you really felt the feeling that you wanted to. And you did, you didnt even care about the dangers that lurked around you in this dark garden. You didnt even hesitate, you just followed me. You felt strong, you ran over thorns, look at you feet. But you didnt feel pain. Somwhere along the way you hesitated, you fell, you broke your wing. I cried for you because I knew that it is now you will feel pain, afraid. Hesitation. I kept on and you behind me, but I had to show you, I know you've been here before, felt the pain, but are you really prepeared? Did it hurt as much as last time? You are falling, youre heart is turning black, start building a stronger you. This time you will do right. Next time your reflection in the mirror wont change. You are going to be you. Be strong. Things will happen, things will change, only for the better. You wont need your wings no more. You will fly without them.

Update about Milo

After writing my letter to Milo I never took the time to explain that he is okay now. He is with his new owner and they fit eachother like a glove fit's a hand. Talking about the right one, I now know that I wasn't the right owner for Milo but his new owner is! I am so happy for him, in fact I couldn't be happier. So I end this chapter with no regrets and looking back I now know I made the right choice. For him, for me, for them.



Over n Out!

Mohsen chavoshi - Zakhme zaboon

من، با زخم زبونات رفیقم

مرهم بزار ،با حرفات ، رو زخم عمیقم


با توام که داری به گریه م می خندی

کاش میشد بیایی و به من دل ببندی


تنها بودن یه کابوس شومه عزیزم

کار دل ، نباشی ، تمومه عزیزم