The voice inside..

For all the times you never saw me.
For all the times you cried.
For all the times you always doubted me.
For all the times you never stopped yelling.
For all the times you hurt me.
For all the times you never listened to me.
For all the times you laughed at me.
For all the times you did wrong.
For all the times you fell down.
For all the times you broke into million pieces.
For all the times you tried to kill me.
For all the times you hated me.
For all the times you picked yourself up.

For all the times.......

I see you.
I cry cause I have to.
I doubt because I'm uncertain.
I scream so you can hear me.
I hurt so you can feel me.
I don't listen because I know.
I laughed cause I knew I was wrong.
I fell when I realized..
I broke when I gave up.
I tried to kill just to numb the pain.
I hated you cause it didnt work.
I picked myself up to live again.

The constant war between my heart and me. It hurts. I'm fine. Want to scream, but keep quiet. Want to cry but laugh. Builds up and falls again. Lose and find again. Die and live again. After all, nobody knows me better than myself. No one can heal me better than myself. I fall and break but I am my own glue. I make mistakes and learn from my mistakes. The constant war with myself will continue until I find inner peace. The inner peace I can share. This is who I am. This is what I do. This is the definition of me. This is what makes me human. Maybe not perfect, but perfect on my way. Judge me and I build up, hate me, and I built up, beat me and I protect. For my wall protecting me, the stronger I make my wall, the more protection it offers me. But do not complain to me when it is too strong to break through. You created it. You may destroy it. But only, to be my protection. My body, my soul, my heart, my brain, my common sense. I am, I will. Perfection in my own way.