Falling with broken wings

By the gates I had a choice, either to turn back or pass the gates and walk through the garden. I knew this way very well, I´ve been here before. I can still remember the pain, the hard work patching up. But I wasn't afraid, on the contrary I was very prepared for I've been here and the next time maybe it wouldnt hurt as much. How very wrong I was.

I made my choice and walked through into the garden, a very dark garden. Black sky, black flowers and dark surroundings. I had my wings to take me away if Something would go wrong I continued walking. Further ahead there was a well, I slowly aproached it and look down. I could hear the sound of the water giving me a calm feeling inside. As I was standing and listening to the water something came flying towards me. I closed my wings around me protecting me from whatever it was. The thing was as small as my hand, flying and slowly sat down in front of me on the well. It looked like a little fairy, just gazing at me with tiny tiny eyes. He put his head on crooked and smiled.

I opened my wings and sat down on my knees so I could end up in same eye level with him. I looked in his eyes. How could this tiny creature make me smile inside just by smiling at me?

He reached out his hand and touched the tip of my nose and then flew up laughing and spinning around in the air. His tiny hand were so cold. As he flew I followed. Without even looking around or down to see if dangers lurked around och something dangerous to step on.

I was enchanted by this tiny fairy.

As I was running I tripped and fell down. I felt a massive pain on the right side of my back and to my horror my wing was broken. The fairy stopped laughing and flew down silently next to me. I saw the tears in his eyes, I wondered why, why are you crying, we just met..

He wiped away his tears and showed me with his hand to follow, and I did. I stood up, although the pain I had I followed. Something inside was telling me that I had to.

We went deeper and deeper into the garden and things got darker and colder. He turned around and laughed at me and kept flying. And then, we stopped. As I was catching my breath I gazed upon a path leading to a big mirror with a black border. He signaled with his hands that I should go and take a look, and like the last time I did..

I slowly approached the big mirror feeling no more pain in my wing, but very cold instead. The fairy flew around me looking at me, smiling then right after making a sad face. As I stood infront of this mirror seeing nothing at first began to feel a very heavy feeling in my heart, like someone had died, like somthing bad was about to happen. I took a deep breath and put my right hand on the mirror. A woman appeared in the mirrir, light skin, bid white wings, but one was.... broken, it was me. My own reflection in the big black mirror. And then something happened, the reflection of me began to turn dark, the blood ran down my right wing, and the feathers turned black. My body felt cold.

What was happening?

I took my hand from the mirror and took a step back. I looked at the fairy with tears in my eyes, suddenly feeling very sad and weak, what is happening. what is happening to me?

And for the first time he flew towards me, sat down on my broken wing and whispered in my ear..

My love, I didnt mean for this, I wanted you to laugh and follow me just to see if you really felt the feeling that you wanted to. And you did, you didnt even care about the dangers that lurked around you in this dark garden. You didnt even hesitate, you just followed me. You felt strong, you ran over thorns, look at you feet. But you didnt feel pain. Somwhere along the way you hesitated, you fell, you broke your wing. I cried for you because I knew that it is now you will feel pain, afraid. Hesitation. I kept on and you behind me, but I had to show you, I know you've been here before, felt the pain, but are you really prepeared? Did it hurt as much as last time? You are falling, youre heart is turning black, start building a stronger you. This time you will do right. Next time your reflection in the mirror wont change. You are going to be you. Be strong. Things will happen, things will change, only for the better. You wont need your wings no more. You will fly without them.